


Ex's & Oh's

by Biromantic_Nerd



Category: Daredevil (TV), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: (More like mishearing), (uses he/him pronouns), AU, Autistic Peter Parker, Biromantic Peter Parker, Foggy definitely has a crush on Matt, Friendship, Gen, Karen Page is definitely in this btw, Karen/Matt reference, Mild emotional hurt/comfort, Misunderstandings, Nonbinary Foggy Nelson, Nonbinary Peter Parker, One Shot, Precious Peter Parker, mostly just fluffy though, some discussions of past relationships/breakups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 05:52:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12675702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biromantic_Nerd/pseuds/Biromantic_Nerd
Summary: "Uhhh." Spider-man said as they landed next to him on the roof. "So are you going to deal with your ex, or should I?"Or the one where Peter mishears Matt and thinks that he used to date Electro, not Elektra





	Ex's & Oh's

**Author's Note:**

> • Set handwavingly during early Season 2 of Daredevil, except S2 if Matt had his shit together. And so he and Foggy would be on better terms. 
> 
> • Magician's voice: Pick a Spiderman, any Spiderman - is this your Spiderman? 
> 
> • Actually there's a ref to TASM Spidey with the whole Felicia thing but I tried to keep the whole 'which Spidey is it' pretty vague

______________________________________

 

Peter took a deep breath and then walked to the building's door. 

 

Their hand grabbed the glass at the same time as someone else, and Peter blinked, taken off guard from their focused mindset of 'you can do this.' 

 

"Mr. Parker." Felicia greeted, easily recognizing Peter from their many past visits to see Harry, and then her face warmed just the slightest smidgen as she took on a teasing tone. "You're up early." 

 

Peter nodded, routinely ignoring the accidental misgendering from someone who didn't know Peter's actual pronouns. "Yeah - I'm actually super glad I caught you here!" 

 

Felicia paused for half a moment, curious, and then she grabbed the door. "Come on. Let's get out of this weather, shall we?"

 

Peter nodded quickly and follows her inside the door of Osborn Industries. 

 

"My security pass hasn't been working." Peter said in a rush as they walked the tiled floor. 

 

"Really?" She frowned. "That's unusual. Did you submit for a new one? There are daily passes that we grant to visitors that you can use in the meantime." 

 

Peter let out a frustrated noise. "I was denied."

 

She stopped walking. 

 

"When did you say, again, that this happened?" She asked and looked at them as if in a new light. 

 

"Last week!" Peter rushed to explain, feeling the relief of finally having someone listening that might be able to help. "And I first applied for the visitor pass five days ago! But I keep getting rejected!" 

 

She inclined her head thoughtfully. "Come with me." 

 

They began walking over to the visitor's desk that Peter had become increasingly acquainted with over the past few days. But this time, Peter felt more secure and a rushing sense of relief because Felicia was here with them and would help fix whatever this - misunderstanding was that kept happening. 

 

"You're going to sign these," She reached around the desk and plucked a manilla envelope and slid it across the smooth surface. "And I'll bring the forms up to the department myself. I'll have them approve them and bring your pass back to you, Mr. Parker." She assured them, and Peter let out a sigh of relief as they opened the folder and grabbed the pen she offered. 

 

"I tried calling Harry." Peter said quietly as they signed where the papers indicated, aware that they were in the middle of the floor lobby and trying to be discrete. "But he...." Peter trailed off, distressed. They set the pen down, finished. 

 

"I think his phone's broken." Peter explained, rubbing the pads of their fingers against the smoothness of the desk in small swipes. "I know the visitor passes don't let you go up to that level, but I thought - I just wanted to - to - " 

 

Felicia understood. "Visit him?" 

 

Peter nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! Just! Pop back there for a little bit. I just need, like, less than five minutes!" 

 

"Let me see what I can do, Mr. Parker." She smiled, grabbing the manilla envelope of forms, giving a small wave and walked through the security checkpoint where she scanned her pass card. 

 

Peter looked around for a chair or a bench to sit on. And, after debating whether they should just stay put at the front or if they should sit, they finally walked over to the small, sleek bench that was nearer to the entrance. 

 

Peter wanted to stim with their small, soft plush rabbit that was in their pocket - such a good, soothing texture - but they didn't want to stick their hands in their pockets and look suspicious. But they _also_ didn't want to take it out of their pocket because they were already getting a few strange looks from the formal-clad business people that were scurrying in and out of the lobby, and they thought that their rabbit plush might garner more odd glances. 

 

Peter's leg bounced rapidly up and down as they waited. 

 

Fifteen minutes later, Felicia approached them. 

 

"Peter?" She said softly and then gently - sadly - smiled down at them. 

 

Peter's heart sunk. 

 

"I'm terribly sorry." She continued quietly as Peter stared at her in wide eyed shock, already catching on to the gist of what she was about to say. "You've not been approved. And...you're not going to _be_ approved." Her smile, strained by sadness, only made Peter feel worse as suddenly everything was forced into perfect clarity. 

 

"His phone isn't broken...is it?" Peter asked, the sudden realization washing over them. 

 

She shook her head softly. "I'm sorry, Peter." 

 

Peter felt cold. 

 

She placed a light hand on their shoulder. "I think it's best if you went home." 

 

And Peter nodded in understanding. 

 

"Um - " They paused and winced as their voice sounded way too watery to pass as being composed. "Thank you for - for. Today. And everything else. Take care."

 

"You too, Mr. Parker." Felicia gave a gentle, reassuring squeeze and then let her hand drop off their shoulder. 

 

"Yeah," Peter mumbled, feeling off tilt and like they wanted to blanket burrito forever in the safety and warmth of a weighted blanket to fight off this cold, hollow feeling. "Yeah." 

 

And then Peter stumbled to the door to leave where they were clearly unwanted, and they clearly had _been_ unwanted but Peter just hadn't understood until now, thinking it was all just a misunderstanding or a faulty electronic device or - or - 

 

Peter wiped at their eyes with their wrist determinedly as they walked along the sidewalk, shoulders hunched inward. 

 

They were _not_ going to cry in public. They were not. 

 

They were not going to cry while walking on the sidewalk or taking the stairs or swiping their metro card or while riding the subway, they _were not_. 

 

 

They did. 

 

 

_____________________________________

 

 

Peter immediately flopped into the nearest desk chair with a tired groan, folding their arms on desk's surface and resting their head upon the pillow it created. 

 

"Hello?" Foggy teasingly rapped his knuckles gently against the back of Peter's noggin. "You alive in there?" Foggy teased. 

 

Peter shooed at him with one hand, balancing on the other arm and not even bothering to lift their head while doing so. They groaned once more. 

 

"Matt, we've got ourselves a zombie." Foggy informed him. "A teenage zombie." 

 

Matt hummed. "That's fine." 

 

Peter let out another dramatic groan. 

 

Foggy cackled. 

 

Peter scowled against their arms. "Foggy," They informed him. "You've betrayed me. I'm in turmoil, and you're _laughing_ at me."

 

Foggy snickered. "Kid," He said unapologetically, "You sound like the undead. You bet your bacon I'm laughing."

 

Peter lifted their head just to glare at Foggy and then put it back down again once they finished staring him down with their oh-so intimidating puffy eyed glare. 

 

"Yeesh." Foggy surrendered. "Okay, okay, I'll bite. What's got you all in a tizzy? C'mon, what's going on. Give me the deets. Short for de-tails, if the youngsters are to be believed."

 

Peter smiled briefly into the crook of their elbow and lifted their head. 

 

"There you are, sunshine, it's a miracle!" Foggy teased. 

 

"What's going on, Peter?" Matt asked, before Peter could stick out their tongue at Foggy in a totally mature way. 

 

Peter groaned again. "Dating people is the worst. And my ex is the, _the_ most worst." They said, finally revealing the source of their woes in a throwaway of all grammar. 

 

Matt raised an eyebrow in what seemed to be amusement. "You said 'the' twice."

 

Peter scoffed. "Uh, yeah. Because it's _theeeee_ worst." 

 

Foggy crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Bad breakup?" He guessed sympathetically. 

 

Peter just moaned pitifully and placed their forehead against the desk. 

 

They didn't mover from that position as they angrily and sadly mumbled, "Harry Osborn can eat my foot," against their arm. 

 

Whether it was the very distinctive name or the odd threat, it clearly took the other two off guard for a moment. But Foggy was always someone that recovered quickly. 

 

"You know," Foggy whispered conspiringly, as if all of them weren't all aware that Matt could also hear. "I have the last hot chocolate packet stashed away in a secret hiding spot." 

 

Peter snorted but lifted their head. "Foggy," They bit their lip, trying to not smile. They wanted to wallow in their misery for a while but Foggy was making it kind of difficult because now Peter wanted to laugh at him. "It's not a secret hiding spot if everyone knows about it."

 

"What?" Foggy demanded, over dramatic and fooling absolutely no one into thinking that he was actually and genuinely surprised by that knowledge. But Peter's heart warmed at the pretense and the effort that Foggy was going to in attempts to try to cheer them up. 

 

"That's a blasphemous thing to say, you blaspheming youngster you. Now you need to go wash your mouth out with - _no._ " Foggy interrupted himself at Peter's suddenly gleeful expression as he realized the mistake in his wording. "Don't you dare start singing that song, Peter!" Foggy warned. 

 

"I bet you wish... _you never spoke_." Peter crooned with a smirk, seizing the opportunity and refusing to let it pass by. 

 

"Gah!" Foggy exclaimed, squeezing his eyes closed. "It's gonna be stuck in my head for weeks! See if I tell you where the mini marshmallows are now!" 

 

Peter and Matt snorted in sync, and Peter turned their grin to Matt's direction. 

 

"Do you want to get them out, or should I?" Peter asked cheekily, already glad that they had made the impulsive decision to make the commute down to Hell's Kitchen instead of going home. They were still sad and felt like they would burst in to tears if they had any left, but there was no better distraction than their friends. And Peter knew that Foggy was playing it up to lift their spirits but it was working, okay?

 

Matt shook his head. "Foggy can get them. I'm sure he was teasing - mostly. He's about to grab the mini marshmallows from his bottom left drawer any second now." 

 

"Oh yeah?" Foggy laughed. "Joke's on you, pal." He walked over to his desk triumphantly and yanked on the bottom _right_ drawer. "Mini marshmallows always go in the ri- " He paused abruptly. "They're gone."

 

"Karen and I had some earlier when you stepped out to meet Marci for lunch." Matt explained easily. "I put them back in the left drawer because you came back earlier than we expected." Matt lifted one shoulder. "Left drawer was closer." 

 

"That's cheating." Foggy accused in a grumble. "You put it away in the wrong spot, you cheat."

 

Matt grinned remorselessly. 

 

"Yeah, yeah, well you can make the kid cocoa, hot stuff." Foggy shot back. 

 

Peter pointedly looked over to Foggy with a judgmental lift of their eyebrows at the odd word choice in the comeback. Foggy flushed, and it was incredibly satisfying to Peter that they had won yet another round of calling him out _yet again_ on his major crush on Matt. 

 

"Alright, alright, calm down." Mistaking Foggy's embarrassment for anger, Matt raised his hands and started to get to it, moving briskly around the office in steadfast motions. 

 

"So," Foggy asked as he shimmied awkwardly against the wall, settling in and trying to find the best way to lounge on it. 

 

Peter definitely was not guiltily wishing that they had sat down in Matt or Karen's chair as he did that, no way. Just maybe a little or a ton.

 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Foggy offered gently. "Or do you just want to - not." Foggy smiled, face warm and bright. "Both options are great. Both options come with cocoa."

 

"Hot chocolate." Peter corrected automatically, even though they knew Foggy never ended up remembering the difference between the two no matter how many times he listened to Peter info dump about it. 

 

Foggy merely smiled and nodded in acceptance at the correction. "Hot chocolate." He amended. 

 

Now that that was out of the way, Peter allowed themself time to think. . _Did_ they want to talk about it? 

 

Peter sighed dejectedly. "Harry Osborn is a jerk." They confessed and kind of felt bad about saying it but not really. Because it was true. _Harry_ should've been the one feeling bad about it, and he should've been the one feeling like Peter felt now. Heartbroken - and still sniffling up snot even though it was an hour later. 

 

Foggy nodded, accepting the statement for what it was and not asking any prying follow up questions. 

 

When Peter scrunched their face up and didn't say anything for a while, Foggy breezily turned the conversation to focus on a different topic. 

 

"Matt, I need that hot chocolate stat." Foggy called out to the small kitchenette area. "A-S-A-P. Pronto. Uno momento. Expedited shipping." 

 

"Okay I don't know what you _thought_ you were saying," Matt answered calmly. "But what you actually said was 'one moment.'" 

 

Foggy paused. "Damn, I think you're right." 

 

Matt turned the corner, an affronted expression on his face, as he carefully carried a steaming mug over. "Thank you for that astounding lack of confidence." Matt said flatly, one eyebrow raised and lips curling upwards in one corner of his mouth. "You _think._ "

 

"Meh." Foggy left his perch against the wall and met Matt halfway across the office. "Don't take it too personal, Murdock." He teased, reaching and cupping both hands delicately around Matt's one that was holding the mug. "Here, let me. I'll take it and you can go get the sprinkles." 

 

Matt smiled. "Did you put them on the top shelf again?" He asked amusedly, not looking for a response, as he turned around to head right back to the kitchen. 

 

"Your drink, young Parker." Foggy delivered with a flourish as he set the mug down on the desk. 

 

"Why, thank you, Foggy." Peter grinned. 

 

Matt coughed. 

 

"You're too kind, _Foggy._ " Peter hammed it up, and Foggy chortled as Matt yet again let out a totally subtle cough. 

 

"Mm hmm." Matt came back into the room, a cylinder in his hand. "You two are hilarious. Here's your sprinkles, Foggy." His face was perfectly smoothed into an innocent expression as he added on, "From the top shelf that _you_ can't reach."

 

"Listen." Foggy waggled a finger. "Shut." He said it like someone would say 'shut up' but only said the first word. 

 

"Mmmm." Matt grinned, walking over. 

 

"It's not fair, Matt." Foggy bemoaned. "You're kind of tall and Karen has heels and - pffft. " Foggy suddenly cut off and let out an amused exhale. 

 

"Oh my goodness." Peter breathed, laughter prevalent in the sound. 

 

Matt frowned. "What?" 

 

"Those, ah, would be the novelty Easter sprinkles that Karen bought you." Foggy explained. 

 

"They're shaped like little carrots." Peter described helpfully. "And bunnies!"

 

"Totally suitable for late autumn, early winter." Foggy playfully carried on. 

 

Matt nodded slowly but didn't seem  
to find it entertaining like Peter and Foggy did. "What happened to the normal sprinkles?" Matt asked, lips pursed. 

 

"Uhhh." Foggy thought about it. "You know what, I really don't know."

 

Peter burst out into giggles, and Matt and Foggy turned to them in surprise. "Would you say that...you haven't the foggiest?"

 

The joke startled a short laugh out of Matt, but Foggy just gaped. 

 

"Over twenty years, I've had this nickname!" Foggy bemoaned tragically. "And not once - not once! - did I realize that opportunity." Foggy shook his head. "Disgraceful. Shame on me." He turned to Matt. "Shame on you." 

 

Matt was quizzical. "Shame on _me?_ "

 

"Yes you!" Foggy explained. "How long have you known me, Matt? Forever, that's how long. And you haven't made the joke either, so  
it's safe to say that - "

 

Peter took a loud slurping sip of hot chocolate that couldn't be ignored and both Matt and Foggy turned in their direction. 

 

"What?" Peter asked innocently. 

 

Matt chuckled lowly. "Well. Do you want the sprinkles or not?" 

 

"I doooo; lay 'em on me, they're so pastel." Peter modded eagerly. 

 

"Pastel." Foggy pretended to gag. "Ugh." 

 

"Rude." Peter muttered with a disdainful sniff, upturning their nose in the air and pretending to be upset. 

 

The truth, however, was that Peter was feeling much, much better than they had been. And the cold feeling that had washed over them earlier like a layer of frost was now long chased away by the warmth that resonated through them. 

 

Peter took another sip of hot chocolate and smiled softly into the warm liquid, the mug encasing their smile. 

 

They would cry all over Foggy and Matt about the breakup later, they knew that without a doubt. 

 

But for now, Peter felt warm again. 

 

And they wanted to hold on to that feeling of warm contentment for just a little bit longer. 

 

_____________________________________

 

Of course, when Peter had idly thought that to themself earlier, they had maybe assumed that the conversation would take place another day, not a mere half hour later. 

 

But somehow, in a moment's lull between Foggy's humorous anecdotes and Matt's soft snorts of amusement, the whole story just blurted past Peter's lips in a sudden confession. 

 

"Man," Foggy shook his head. "Harry Osborn is _totally_ a dick." 

 

Peter stared at their hands, tightly clenched together and pressed against their waist steadyingly, and nodded in agreement. 

 

"The dickest of dicks." Foggy continued blithely. "If I meet that guy in an alley, well, let's just say that I'm going to write a strongly worded letter and if I happen to have it with me, I'll be more than happy to deliver that letter personally."

 

Peter squinted and cleared their throat. "Is that an euphemism for punching his lights out?"

 

"What?" Foggy blinked. "No, it's not!"

 

"Pity." Matt muttered. 

 

Foggy shot him a glare. "Not everybody goes around punching people they don't like, okay?" 

 

"Not even the dickest of dick exes?" Matt raised an eyebrow in what he assumed was a match point to lead to victory. 

 

Foggy looked frustrated but let the issue drop. 

 

"Anyways, kid," Foggy turned back to Peter. "If there's anything you need, let us know, okay?"

 

Peter nodded. "Yeah, yeah - um, thanks."

 

Foggy smiled gently. 

 

Peter tilted their head slightly. "How - how do you guys - uh. Do you have any advice. For - for dealing with bad breakups?" Peter flushed and stared back down at their hands. "It's just that - Gwen and I used to date, but when we broke up, it was...different. We're still friends. Harry....doesn't even want to acknowledge that I exist." They finished glumly. 

 

Foggy thought about it. "When Marci and I split, it was kind of a 'we're both going our separate ways' type thing." He shrugged. "Plus, we both had agreed that it'd be somewhat casual from the start; it's hard to balance relationships and college at the same time, so we both just figured we'd try and just...see where it'd lead us."

 

Peter nodded. "Were you upset? When - " Peter cut themself off. 

 

Foggy nodded. "Oh yeah. I cried my eyes out. I felt like a was losing a friend, you know? Even though we promised to keep in touch, we both knew that neither of us would be too good at keeping that promise."

 

Foggy smiled kindly. "All breakups are difficult. And some are going to be more tough than others."

 

"It's tough, yeah." Peter sighed. 

 

There was a beat of quiet. 

 

"Well," Matt mused slowly. "I suppose I can sympathize as well. My breakup with Electro certainly wasn't the easiest I've had to deal with." 

 

Peter froze. 

 

"Now _that,_ " Foggy shook his head in disapproval, "was a bad relationship." 

 

Peter gaped at Foggy. 

 

They felt like their heart was going to burst out of their cheat with how fast it was beating. 

 

"You _knew_ about it?!" They asked, sounding screechy and flustered even to themself. 

 

"Oh yeah." Foggy confirmed easily, like he wasn't shattering Peter's perception of the world and how it functioned. 

 

"But - but - but - !" Peter protested feebly. They couldn't decide whether to look at Matt or Foggy and ended up swiveling their head between the two in a distraught, endless loop. "But it's _Electro!_ " They wailed, voice wobbling and high pitched. "How could you date _Electro!_ " 

 

"Trust me." Foggy agreed disdainfully, accepting Peter's alarm as the logical response it should be. "I thought the same exact thing."

 

Matt didn't even dignify Foggy's answer with a response and only replied to Peter, in a tone that Peter thought was far too nonchalant for the situation. "I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that you know who that is." Matt pursed his lips. He sighed. "Well. Listen, Peter. We all make mistakes. Mine just wanted to stab me." Matt paused. "Repeatedly." He shrugged. 

 

Peter waved their arms frantically up and down at their sides. "Did they - they know about you - you being you know who??" 

 

Matt nodded. "Not at first, but. Well. There wasn't really any hiding it. Both us being who we are. We each discovered each other's identity rather quickly." 

 

Peter's lips quivered in distress. 

 

Matt cocked his head. "Well. Even though it was a rough breakup - "

 

"Hell of an understatement." Foggy muttered bitterly. 

 

"- I do tend to enjoy when our paths cross and we can meet up again." He admitted. "So this perhaps wasn't the most potent of bad break up tales I could have told you." He mused. 

 

Peter didn't know what their face looked like, but it was enough to cause Foggy to intervene. 

 

"Alright" Foggy clapped his hands together. "You're looking more and more upset, so I'm gonna suggest we all just move along and talk about something else." 

 

"Foggy's right." Matt acquiesced. "No more talks about break ups."

 

Peter eyed the two lawyers for a long moment and then nodded doubtfully. 

 

And Foggy moved on to talking about some shenanigans that his neighbor had been up to recently, but Peter's mind was busy racing with thoughts of the previous conversation. 

 

And while Peter did feel better about the whole - _wince_ Harry thing, they had a whole new problem on top of it now. 

 

Peter continued to stare at Matt, mind-boggled, as Foggy cheerfully carried the conversation on, and they couldn't stop themself from focusing on that feeling of overwhelming disbelief. They just couldn't believe it. 

 

Matt had dated _Electro?_

 

And Foggy had known about it. 

 

_What the heckie, Becky?_

 

___________________________________

 

Peter visited the office again three days later when they had a free period on their schedule and was allowed to leave the school as long as they came back in time for the next class period. 

 

"Karen!" Peter greeted happily as they threw open the door; they saw her at her desk but Matt and Foggy had stepped out or had not yet arrived. 

 

"Oh hey, Peter!" Karen's raspberry painted lips pulled into a smile. And then her eyes softened, and she pursed her lips nervously. "How are you? How have you been?"

 

Peter gave a short groan. "They _told_ you?" They covered their eyes in embarrassment. 

 

"Yeah." Karen said simply. 

 

Peter let out a gurgling noise for a moment as they processed their keen and overwhelming embarrassment. "I'm fine." They said. And then, sheepishly taking their hands off their eyes, they repeated it. "I'm fine." 

 

Karen nodded. "Okay. If you say you're fine, then you're fine." 

 

Peter quickly nodded as well. "I am!"

 

Karen shrugged. Casually she crossed one leg over the one as she opened a drawer in her desk and pulled out a portable phone speaker. "So does that mean," She asked slyly with a glint in her eyes, "That you _don't_ want to listen to Adele until Matt and Foggy get here?"

 

Peter's breath left in one giant whoosh. 

 

They blinked and then inhaled. "Karen." They jestingly scolded and grinned. "You _know_ I can't say no to that." 

 

Karen smiled triumphantly. "That's what I thought you might say." 

 

She plugged the speaker's cord into her phone. "Pull up a chair and decide whether we should start with 'Someone Like You' or 'Rolling In The Deep.'" 

 

Peter grinned and stole one of the cheaper chairs that was intended for clients. 

 

"'Rolling In The Deep,' of course." Peter answered. 

 

"Ah." Karen murmured as she scrolled on her phone. "One of _those_ breakups, huh?"

 

She paused, finger hovering over the screen. 

 

"You know," She said slowly. "I have Carrie Underwood on here...if you'd prefer that."

 

Peter gasped. 

 

"Karen." Peter said firmly, leaning forward somberly, eyes full of adoration. "I love you so much."

 

Karen laughed. "Alright. 'Before He Cheats' it is." 

 

"Yesssssss." Peter dragged the word out through their teeth in an excited hiss of air. 

 

Peter let out a happy sigh as the song began to fill the air. 

 

"Let's marathon angry country breakup music." Peter decided. 

 

Karen grinned. "Sure thing, sweet pea." 

 

Peter grinned in reply. 

 

And then the lyrics were starting, and Karen and Peter both were belting out the most angry country break up song that ever was. 

 

Or at least, if not the most, it was the best.

 

 _And so,_ Peter thought happily, _Was Karen. The absolute best._

 

_____________________________________

 

"Peter." Matt's voice broke across the quiet office suddenly, and Peter straightened in their chair automatically from their slouch. "Did you want to ask me something?"

 

"What?" Peter laughed unconvincingly. "Pff, nooo. Why - why would you think that?" 

 

"You've been staring my way for the past forty five minutes, Peter." Matt said simply and didn't delve into detail about how Peter kept inhaling deeply - preparing themself and about to speak - before deflating as they clearly changed their mind. 

 

"Ah." Peter clicked their tongue against their teeth and then blurted, "Can I ask you a personal question?" 

 

"Sure." Matt moved his hands down off of his laptop reader and folded them patiently on top of his desk. 

 

Peter stood up from the client chair and walked through the empty office over to Matt's desk; they felt somewhat awkward just talking across the room even though they knew Matt could hear them, and, because Matt's door was open, Peter could easily hear him as well. . 

 

"What was it like - dating uh. DatingElectro." Peter rushed out quickly before they lost the nerve.

 

Matt seemed to be considering the question with a small amount of curiosity. 

 

 _Probably,_ Peter thought and flushed. _Wondering what led them to ask that._

 

But Matt didn't comment on the oddness of the seemingly sudden question - one of the many that had been plaguing Peter's mind since Matt had confessed to the whole thing. 

 

"It was...like touching a live wire." Matt said softly, reverently. 

 

And holy heck, Peter hoped that was a metaphor and not an innuendo. 

 

"It was like feeling the most alive that you can feel." Matt continued. "That rush of an electric current flowing through you. That instant spark igniting unlike anything else."

 

Peter was regretting asking because _seriously_ was this a metaphor or innuendo? 

 

"And you think exactly that. That it makes you feel so alive." Matt breathed. "But then when it's over and gone and you can finally breathe again, you realize that you've been holding your breath that entire time with no relief." 

 

In a rush of relief, Peter decided that it was indeed a metaphor.

 

"Does that help, Peter?" Matt asked softly. 

 

Peter nodded, even though they were pretty sure that for the most part they had been focused on the wrong parts of the conversation. 

 

"Don't play with electricity and remember to breathe, got it." Peter mostly quipped with another nod, only half joking. 

 

Matt's lips quirked. "You've got the gist. It's okay to want sparks between and your partner. But it's not okay for those sparks to ignite and light your whole life aflame, until you're choking on smoke alone in the aftermath."

 

Sometimes, when Matt got in certain moods, Peter thought that Matt probably was _that one kid_ in English classes that wrote really cool poems and would amazed everyone, and it would make you wonder why you decided to write about how much you love broccoli. (Not that that happened to - okay, so maybe it did happen. Sue them, they love broccoli okay?) 

 

"Peter?" Matt asked, and Peter blinked. 

 

"Yeah, thanks, Matt." Peter nodded and smiled. 

 

Maybe the conversation was a little more poetic and wordy than Peter had anticipated, but it told them what they needed to know. 

 

Matt really had been in love with Electro - and he had suffered for it. 

 

It was odd. Just really downright bizarre. 

 

 _But,_ Peter supposed, _An evil ex is an evil ex is an evil ex. And Matt, as per usual, just had a standard that was way more dramatic than everyone else._

 

_____________________________________

 

 _It was,_ Spider-man thought, _Never going to be the same. They were never going to look at him the same way, now that they knew._

 

Electro, freshly broken out of prison, seemed to be - kind of frolicking to be honest - taking a destructive stroll around the block but not really up to the usual _evil_ that one typically associated with Spider-man's foes. 

 

Spider-man squinted at Electro, who seemed more bent on doing petty destruction - however massive the scale of that destruction might be - than an actual formed plan. 

 

Spider-man nodded to themself as they decided it. They unzipped the small side zipper on their hip and retrieved the dinky backup phone they carried around while on missions. 

 

"Heyyyy." Spider-man said as Matt answered his burner phone. "So your ex is here. Do you wanna take 'em so that I can deal with the whole - " They gestured vaguely in the air to themself as they tried to find the word. " - Squirrel uprising fiasco that's going on right now downtown." 

 

"I'll be there in five." Matt promised somberly. 

 

Peter eyed Electro, who was crashing into cars gleefully and making them go haywire in the process, windshield wipers swiping furiously and radios ticking on full blast. 

 

It was annoying, sure, but it could definitely wait five minutes - if that was even when Daredevil arrive and not just Matt overestimating himself. 

 

Peter quickly put the phone away and swung towards downtown. 

 

_______________________________________

 

The 'uprising' downtown of squirrels actually went a lot smoother and faster than Spider-man anticipated. 

 

That was mostly because by the time that they swung there, Squirrel Girl had the situation completely under control and the person responsible was already apprehended. 

 

"Huh." Peter said happily, and they began their trek back to deal with Electro the pest. 

 

But, hey, if Electro's rampage just included a ton of property damage today instead of more perilous crime, that was totally cool with Spider-man. 

 

_______________________________________

 

Swinging back to the area to find Daredevil scouring rooftops instead of actually dealing with Electro, when he was right there was...kind of bizarre. 

 

"Uhhh." Spider-man said as they landed next to him on the roof. "So are you going to deal with your ex, or should I?" 

 

Daredevil frowned. "I don't understand how you can be so focused on my ex when that - " He gestured to where Electro was joy riding around in a Mustang and crashed it into a fire hydrant that rippled instantly with the electric currant. " - That is going on. I would have thought you would - " Daredevil paused. "I just thought more of you." He said, disappointedly, throwing Spider-man so off guard in a way they didn't anticipate coming at all. 

 

"What." Spider-man said blankly, then shook themself, their surprised hurt turning into wounded anger. "No, no, no, wait, wait, wait. You don't get to just - listen, buddy, you said that you would help me with your ex! So I was waiting for you!" 

 

Daredevil frowned. "Yes. I did say that." 

 

Spider-man threw up their arms. "So? What gives! You don't get to just - Argh! Okay? You gotta take care of your evil ex, since you promised you would! So," They gestured angrily toward Electro, "Get out there and stop him!" 

 

"Spider-man." Daredevil said slowly and carefully. It was the way he always talked to them when he thought that they were being _irrational_ and it made them want to scream. "I stand a better chance of convincing Elektra to stop than you ever would. But I can't stop your villains while I'm doing that though. You need to take care of that yourself." Daredevil gestured in echo of how Spider-man had moments before. 

 

"Wait." Spider-man put their hands upon their hips. "You're saying I should stop Electro. Then why, exactly, are you here, again?"

 

"You called me." Daredevil said calmly, although his nostrils flared noticeably in annoyance. "To 'deal with my ex,' not Electro." 

 

Spider-man's jaw dropped. 

 

"Are you trying to say that Electro _isn't_ your ex?" They gaped. 

 

Daredevil paused. "You know what." He said. "You have Johnny Storm's cell, don't you? Why don't we let the Fantastic Four handle this one. You and I, apparently, have a lot to talk about." 

 

Peter didn't know if the feeling of dread that washed over them was because of Matt's semi-omninous words or if because now they had to call _Johnny._

 

______________________________________

 

Peter took a deep breath and entered the Nelson & Murdock office. 

 

Foggy smiled at them kindly, and Peter's shoulders untensed marginally at his presence. 

 

"Sit down, Peter." Matt instructed, and Peter's limbs quickly regained all previous tenseness. 

 

They sat. 

 

There was a long moment of silence that endured so long that Peter wondered if _they_ were supposed to break it. 

 

"I think," Matt said slowly, finally, "That you've been under a rather...drastic misunderstanding." 

 

Peter nodded patiently. 

 

"I'm not - you haven't - " Matt broke off, clearly frustrated and tried to regain his composure. 

 

Peter blinked. "You what?" They asked, looking around. "I what?" 

 

"Kid," Foggy intervened when Matt didn't reply. "...Who...is it - " Matt's expression leaned towards more towards a scowl and it made Foggy try to change course. " - to okay hold on a sec, geez, Matt, you should really sort this out yourself, gah, okay okay." Foggy cleared his throat. "When a man loves a woman - "

 

"Foggy!" Peter yelped, scrambling to cover their ears in embarrassment. 

 

"Is this really necessary - " Matt tried to cut in, frowning even more deeply. 

 

"You, shut up." Foggy said, pointing in Matt's direction without turning to look at him. "You," He pointed at Peter and then said in a gentler but still brisk voice, "Shh." 

 

And then he continued seamlessly from where he had left off. 

 

" - and if that man is Matthew Murdock, and that woman is Elektra, and Matthew's friend Peter Parker mishears Matthew say Elektra as Elect _ro_ , and Peter Parker is also Spider-man and fights Electro - " Foggy took a breath, " _Then,_ Peter calls Matthew for help in a battle because Matthew Murdock is Daredevil, and Peter, who is Spider-man, is fighting Electro, and assumed that because Matthew used to date Elektra - which Peter misheard as Electro - that Daredevil would be best suited to help with the situation." 

 

Foggy clapped, and Peter blinked. 

 

"I think that catches you all up." Foggy announced, nodding in satisfaction. 

 

Matt sighed heavily. "Thank you, Foggy." He didn't sound remotely grateful. 

 

"While that may have been an _unnecessarily long_ winded explanation - " Matt said. 

 

"Yeah, yeah, well you could have done it!" Foggy grumbled. 

 

" - Foggy has seemed to have covered everything about the situation." Matt finished. "Do you have any questions, Peter?" 

 

Peter sat, flummoxed.

 

Matt waited. 

 

"So...." They said finally. "You dated...Elektra. Not Electro."

 

"Yes." Matt confirmed. 

 

"Ah." Peter breathed, "I see, I see." 

 

There was a pause. 

 

"So when you said the relationship was electric - " Peter began, a bit accusingly. 

 

Matt shrugged. "Figure of speech." 

 

"You said it was 'full of sparks' and tons of other electric based puns!" Peter pointed out, pointing his finger at Matt, who was _definitely_ the reason why this whole thing had started. 

 

Matt frowned. "Are you saying that it was my fault?" He asked curiously, sounding like he hadn't even considered that as an option but was going to examine that as an idea very avidly now that it had been brought up. 

 

Peter threw their arms in the air. "Yes! No?" Peter added on the "Maybe so" as an impulsive need to finish the rhyme more than continuing their actual train of thought. 

 

"Actually," Foggy chimed in, face pinched in what Peter came come to realize meant that Foggy's brain was turning gears thoughtfully. "You have super hearing. How did you not know that this was happening?" 

 

A surprising, small patch of red bloomed spottily on Matt's cheeks. "Every time that they mentioned it, Peter was really..." He hesitated and then just continued with his obvious first word choice that he hadn't wanted to go with but nevertheless used. "...squirrelly about it."

 

Peter let out an indignant noise. " _Squirrelly?_ " 

 

Matt shrugged. "Your heart gets really fast and so does your voice - it also gets really shrill. But I thought I knew what you were saying, so it wasn't an issue because I could decipher it. Or so I thought." 

 

"Oh my sweet dandelions." Peter groaned. "Wow. Just great. I talk shrill enough that _Daredevil_ can't hear me with his _super hearing_."

 

Matt frowned. "I can hear you. I just can't understand you, apparently."

 

"Gee." Peter said flatly, not comforted in the slightest bit whatsoever. "Thanks."

 

Peter dropped their head into their hands. "I can't believe it though." They bemoaned. "Even the timing! What are the odds that you'd say that Elektra was in town and you were seeing them again at the same time that Electro broke out of prison?" 

 

Matt cleared his throat uncomfortably as Foggy immediately swiveled to glare at him. 

 

"You said _what_ now?" Foggy asked lowly in a tense voice. 

 

"Listen," Matt tried to placate soothingly. "It's not a big deal." 

 

"Ah." Peter realized. "Foggy didn't know that you were seeing your evil ex." 

 

"She's not - evil." Matt protested. 

 

Foggy gaped. "You were almost killed because of her! She almost got you expelled!"

 

Peter snorted, and then blanched when Foggy turned his glare upon them. 

 

"Calm down, Hermione." Peter held up their hands. "I wasn't laughing at - at - whatever you think I'm laughing at."

 

"Hermione." Foggy muttered in realization, closing his eyes briefly. "Of course. Sorry, Peter." He turned back to Matt. " _You_ , however, have a lot of explaining to do, pal."

 

Matt grimaced. 

 

"Alright."

 

He took a deep breath, braced himself, and started from the beginning. 

 

_____________________________________

 

"You know what." Foggy said, leaning back in his chair, stunned. "It would actually be _less_ complicated if you _were_ dating Electro instead of Elektra." 

 

"Believe me," Matt said tiredly. "I don't disagree." 

 

"So....a secret ninja group army thing named....the Hand...." Peter recapped in disbelief. 

 

"Yup." Matt said. 

 

"Wowww." Peter dragged out. "And I thought _my_ ex was the dickest dick. At least mine didn't convince me to fight an ancient ninja army with the abusive mentor figure from my past."

 

Matt scowled. 

 

"Ex-nay on the trash talking Stick-nay." Foggy stage whispered and then continued in a normal voice. "Matt doesn't appreciate people calling out Stick on his dickery, let alone his abusive behavior to a newly orphaned kid who _apparently_ he was also grooming to be a soldier in a war." 

 

"Oh. My bad." Peter said apologetically. 

 

"It's fine." Matt assured them, but his face was pinched in annoyance. 

 

"So how does The Punisher fit into this?" Peter asked curiously. 

 

"What?" Matt was taken aback. 

 

"The Punisher? Dude that keeps beating you up? Karen's literally out investigating him right now, like she has been for a couple weeks now." Peter elaborated. 

 

"Oh." Matt said weakly. "That Punisher."

 

"I didn't realize there was more than one." Foggy chimed in. 

 

Matt huffed. 

 

"Oh my _gosh._ " Peter realized in horror. "Please tell me that The Punisher isn't your ex." 

 

" _The Punisher is not my ex._ " Matt immediately stressed. 

 

Peter glanced at Foggy. 

 

"Do you think he's telling the truth?" They asked.

 

Foggy grimaced. "Matt _does_ seem to have a type, doesn't he?"

 

"I didn't date The Punisher!" Matt protested firmly. 

 

Peter shook their head. "I don't know what would be the worse ex of the bunch. Elekra, Electro, or The Punisher." 

 

Foggy hummed contemplatively, and Matt groaned. 

 

"I've never dated Electro." Matt reminded the two of them. "And I've _never_ dated The Punisher!" 

 

The office opened, and everyone turned immediately to it. 

 

Karen stood in the doorway with eyebrows raised high. 

 

"...Hello." Karen said slowly.

 

"Hi, Karen." Peter replied with a small wave. 

 

Her eyes rested on them for a slight second before they flickered over to land on Matt. 

 

"Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" She asked lightly, closing the door behind her. 

 

Foggy and Peter exchanged a look but didn't know how to answer that, exactly. 

 

"Of course not." Matt said plaintively. 

 

Karen snorted. 

 

"Uh." Peter offered a smile. "We established that Matt hasn't dated and isn't dating The Punisher or Electro." 

 

Karen nodded slowly. 

 

"Yeah, that makes sense, since we're exclusive." 

 

Peter sat up. "You and Matt are _dating?_ " They gaped. 

 

Karen's raspberry colored lips turned upwards in amusement. "Yes. I thought we were really obvious about it, so I guess we never came outright and told you."

 

Peter looked between Karen, Matt, and Foggy in quick darting glances but tried to restrain themself from saying anything along the lines of _Oh, that must be really awkward since I think that you guys are all in love with each other and you should all just date each other_. 

 

"Uhhhhhhh." 

 

"'Uh'?" Foggy and Karen said at the same time, and they shared a conspiring look with one another. 

 

"Nothing." Peter squeaked. "Look at the time, I've got to go. Places to see, people to be." Peter hurriedly said and scrambled to their feet and to get their bag. 

 

"That was weird." Karen said, as Peter rushed out the door. "That was weird, right?" 

 

As the door closed shut and Peter paused to exhale in relief outside of it, they could hear Foggy say, "Maybe they just now processed the whole ancient ninja army thing." 

 

There was a pause. 

 

"Wait _what_?" Karen demanded.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is never actually referenced in the fic; it's a song title that I like and I thought suited the story
> 
> Also btw even though it wasn't actually touched on in the story, this Foggy is kind of a blend of my 'Devil's Food Cake' Foggy and my 'Chamomile, No Coconut' Foggy:
> 
> • Nonbinary/Genderqueer Foggy that uses he/him pronouns
> 
> • Disabled Foggy with arthritis


End file.
